Family Finances and Children: When and How Much?
When finances are tighter than usual, parents want to protect their children from the reality of the
situation. They want them to have happy, carefree and innocent lives. But children, just like their
parents, are affected by financial stress.
Even if you don't talk with your kids, don't assume they don't know what's happening. They
overhear conversations and pick up on signs of stress in their parents. They may even imagine a
worse situation than what is really true. A parent who remains silent communicates that there is a
problem but it can't be talked about. And children who lack information may blame themselves
for the problem or try to take on adult roles to try to fix things.
If you're the parent, remain open to your kids. Let them know it's okay to talk about the changes.
Help them understand how their lives will be changed. For example, there might be less money
for things like school activities or eating out. Ask them for ideas about where to spend less
money and how you all can still do what the family enjoys.
Just how much detail you share with a child depends on the child's age, maturity, and
personality, as well as your family's values. Especially in difficult times, all children want to
know the family will be okay. While teenagers and older children will be able to handle more
detail than younger ones, talk with your kids about the situation. Use language they can
understand to tell them how they will be directly affected. Above all, answer their questions and
allow them to verbalize their concerns.
Share that you are afraid, angry or frustrated. Then they'll know they aren't the only ones with
these feelings. Also share how you deal with your feelings. Perhaps you use exercise, art, writing,
music, meditation or prayer as a way to get your feelings out. Show them such feelings are
normal, and having a creative way to express them is better than holding them inside or
exploding verbally or physically.
Even if your own family isn't having financial difficulties, children may be concerned for others
they hear about through the media or observe in the community. Explore how they perhaps can
help others by raising money or collecting food for the local food bank. Help them understand
that reducing stress means taking action, not just holding your feelings inside. And when your
children take action, join them. Taking action will make you feel more involved and hopeful.
Source: Dollars and Sense: Talking About Money by Judy Weber, Extension Educator &
Kathy Prochaska-Cue, Extension Family Economist University of Nebraska Extension
