Open-ended questions, on the other hand, usually begin with where, when, what, who, which, or how. They tend to keep conversation going because they ask for information the parents want to know in order to learn more about a child's opinion, activity, or feeling. A good example of an open-ended question is "What did you like best about school today
If you are having difficulty thinking of questions for your child, these might help get your conversation started:
Is it all right to eat dessert first? Why or why not?
What makes you happy?
If a friend gets something new, do you expect something new too? Explain.
What do you do when your stomach churns because you are nervous?
Name three things you could do to keep our environment safe.
If you found $5.00 what would you do with it?
Teen discussions may include such topics as:
At what age should you be able to get a drivers license?
Should there be time limits for adults and children on telephone calls or chat rooms? Why?
Is it okay to lie? Why?
What is your favorite color and why do you like it?
What do you like best about your teacher?
Grandma makes lots of great food. Which food is your favorite?
Other Suggestions
It can also be helpful to keep yourself surrounded with items that help facilitate the conversation. Keeping calendars with thought provoking questions close at hand, or books of questions or even cassette tapes may encourage communication.
Plan a special time each day to communicate with family members. Some days it may be challenging, but try to keep it as consistent as possible. Plan a strategy for communicating. Parents often spend a lot of time transporting children to and from activities. Travel time may be ideal for conversation. The best time might be while waiting for the bus, before bed time, or while eating a meal. Each family can find an appropriate time. Helping children discuss situations and questions can help them be more effective at solving their own problems. As an adult, you can help children make good decisions.
Adults and children need to find a way to live with each other so that they can feel good about themselves and help those they love feel good about themselves too. Positive interactions between adults and children can serve as a model to show respect, caring, and sensitivity toward another's feelings.
Good communication skills last a lifetime. Being able to be effective with friends, co-workers, parents, mates, and one day with children of their own is a legacy parents can give to their children.
Adapted from: Positive Family Communication Doris I. Herringshaw, Ohio State University Fact Sheet, 1999
